Big B, Little B, What Begins With B?

Lei has given me the challenge of listing ten words starting with the letter B, with explanations as to why I chose those specific words. Here it goes!

1. Baby: We're getting very close to starting to TTC, so I've got baby on the brain!

2. Bananas: This describes my state of mind over the past two weeks (and for the next 2 weeks to boot).

3. Blueberry: Talking about bananas has me thinking about other fruit, and I'm seriously considering making a blueberry crumb pie tonight.

4. Bubble Machine: What my 2 year-old got me for my birthday.

5. Boxes: My classroom is full of these as I prepare to schlep all my stuff from my current school to next year's school (more on that later).

6. Blessings: I have more than I can count!

7. Beer: What I am going to want on June 9th at 3:16 p.m. (officially the start of summer vacation). Can I also request tranquilizers for the kids (even though it doesn't start with 'B')?

8. Big Brown (Spider): What I found crawling in my bathtub about a week ago. Erwin wasn't home, and since I'm such a wuss, I called practically everyone I could think of in my ward until I found someone at home that could come over and kill it before I went apopleptic.

9. Blue Bunny: My favorite brand of non-gormet ice cream (i.e., if I can't have Haagan Daaz or Ben & Jerry's). Anything chocolate, mint, oreo, or chocolate and mint and oreo is a good thing. If you haven't tried it, go get yourself some B&J Cookies N Mint. You will think you've died and gone to heaven!

10. Books: I LOVE to read!!!! I used the necessary purchase of a $15 book to justify spending another $60 last week. Yeah...I'm an addict. Things I've read in the past two weeks: Volumes 10, 11, and 12 of the Left Behind series (still finishing #12), Deception Point (Dan Brown), The Late Talker, Digital Fortress (Dan Brown..again, still finishing), 1 2 3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12, Toddler Theme-a-saurus (the original book I used to justify buying the other books), and Behold the Man (Gerald Lund). I do have to say that I read 1, 2, 3 Magic and The Late Talker both on Friday (I had 2 hours to kill on Friday after work before I could pick up Daniel...my new principal let us go home waaaaay early).

Shameless Snapshot Showoff

No point to this post whatsoever... just showing off my cute boy! He was deep in thought sitting on Grandma's lap when I snapped this.

I'm not over the hill...yet!

Today is a very special day! It just so happens to be the birthday of three terrific friends... Charlotte, Lei, and Sharon. It also happens to be my birthday! I'm officially thirty. 30. 3-0. Wow. That's odd to say! I'm actually looking forward to my thirties...everyone I've talked to says your thirties are better than your twenties. DH, however, teased me this morning about needing to get my cane. I then kindly offered him my wheelchair, considering he's 17 years older than I am, and if he thinks I need a cane, then he definitely needs a wheelchair!


All in all, today has been a wonderful day. I got to take the day off from work, go to Chevy's for lunch, then saw Ice Age 2. Came home to cake and presents, as well as phone calls and cards from family and friends. Too bad I can't have days like this every day!

Mom

Happy Mother's Day & Happy Anniversary!

I love you!

Love Being A Mom? You Betcha!!!

This is my third Mother's Day, and I can't believe how time flies! Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done, but by far, the most rewarding thing I've ever done. My son has brought more joy into my life the past 2 1/2 years than I'd had in the 27 years before he came. So, to honor and reflect on the past 2 1/2 years, I have a top ten list of why I love being a mom (or, in other words, 10 things I love about my son).

10) Hugs and kisses galore, the only reason being I walked into the room.

9) Watching him sleep in my arms, wondering if he's dreaming about where he came from.

8) Watching him dissolve into fits of giggles over the simplest things, reminding me to look at life with a new eye.

7) Joining him in imaginative play, reliving a piece of my own childhood.

6) Seeing his boundless energy...gives me energy to finish my day.

5) Having him crawl into bed with us when he's scared or not feeling well, knowing it's a place he feels safe and secure. I loved that feeling as a child!

4) Watching him approach everything with reckless abandon, reminding me to live life the same way.

3) Reading Goodnight Moon for the forty-eleventh time, finding the joy in simple things.

2) Kid laughter...and the permission to be silly that accompanies it.

And the number one reasong I love being a mom...

1) Knowing and finally understanding the love that consumes your life when you become a parent. It's something that you don't understand until you've been there.

I Spoke Too Soon...

Looks like the light at the end of the tunnel IS an oncoming train! In addition to the 3 IEP's next week that I knew about, I got an email yesterday about 5 more IEP's next week for new kids. So, yeah, that's EIGHT IEP's. In a week. On top of trying to actually hold class. Grrrrrr. I also realized yesterday that the last Interim Assessments (tests my district gives 3x a year) are starting this coming week too. Then I have to do report cards...

Yup. It's a train.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel...

Is not an oncoming train!!! Life has been absolutely insane this month. There are 20 days left of school, and it's comparable to Tax Season for accountants. The last month of school is "Rush Month" when all teachers are trying to get kids qualified for special ed by the end of the year, along with the annual reviews I need to hold for kids that have been identified in years past at this time of year. It makes me want to scream! I missed 2 days of work last week because I was sick, and missed 2 IEP's those two days. Tomorrow is Thursday, the fourth day of the week. Tomorrow I have my fourth IEP of the week. Each IEP takes about 2-3 hours to assess for (the annual reviews) and the actual IEP takes about an hour to write. Then the meeting takes one to two hours at school. That's about five hours per kid OUTSIDE the teaching day that I have to do. Add to that grading, lesson planning/prep, and other random stuff and it's a wonder I can breathe right now.

HOWEVER...

I can start breathing a little easier now! I only have 3 more annual review IEP's, one addendum and about 3 initial IEP's to have within the next 3 weeks. I'll have four next week (three annuals and an initial) then three more the week following (two initials and the addendum). Then I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I just have to figure out when I'm going to have time to pack my room up by June 9th... anyone wanna schlep some boxes???

Well-Meaning People

Well-meaning people...they're everywhere. You know who I'm talking about; everybody knows at least one, often people know scores of people that fit this description. However, sometimes well-meaning people, in their well-meaningness complicate things.

How do I know this? It's because I'm frequently the recipient of their good intentions. I've been thinking about this today because a MOF (my online friend) is experiencing this on a grand scale for the first time, and my heart aches for her. While I can't empathize with her particular struggles, I can empathize with how people are treating her/reacting to her. You see, my friend has cancer, and all of a sudden she's found that she's the center of attention, even if she's at functions where she's obviously meaning to be in the background. People are acting like she's made of glass; like she's going to break.

The most frustrating part of this exercise in well-meaningness is you tend to lose the ability to speak for yourself. People ask others how you're doing--in your presence. People ask another person what you'd like--in your presence. People talk about you in third person--in your presence. And then they're shocked when you pipe up yourself, or heaven forbid, acting for yourself.

Why do I know this? Because I live with this every day. I use a wheelchair, and oftentimes it's like it makes me invisible. It's much less likely with people under forty. But with the over forty crowd, it's nearly guarenteed. I've had complete strangers offer assistance--which I'm very grateful for. When I need it, I accept it graciously. But, when I don't happen to need any help and I explain that, "No, it's ok...I've got everything"; I invariably get "Are you sure?" as if it really could be true that I'm alright. When I confirm that I am indeed alright, half the time it's followed by a "well, you say you don't want help but I'm helping you anyway." And then, these complete strangers totally take over my wheelchair, often wreaking a bit of havoc in the process. But, I smile and be grateful, even if it's through clenched teeth.

The other one I love is people talking about you in third person. I've had people ask others with me (as an adult) what I'd prefer to eat or drink, what color I'd like X object I might be shopping for/looking at, what my name is, why I'm in a wheelchair, what rides I'd prefer to ride at the amusement park. The list is endless. I love "butting into the conversation" (even though it shouldn't be considered butting in) and taking over. People look at me, completely mortified. Yes world, I can speak for myself (in case you haven't noticed I'm quite opinionated).

As for having to sit on the sidelines and have everyone think you should just sit there, I'm good friends with that too. In those situations I try not to roll my eyes into the back of my head and just calmly proceed to ignore everyone else and just go on my merry way doing what I'm doing. If I'm met with protests, I ignore them. If the protests are especially vocal, I just look people in the eye and say, "I'd love to (blank). Can I do X or Y?" If that doesn't work, I have no trouble being blunt, and I just flat out say, "Look. I'm fine. I'm not going to break or fall apart. I want to help, so you might as well get out of my way." That usually shocks people into silence and the leave me alone after that (however I'm always called "independent" after that. That's a rant for another day).

So, the moral of the story? MOF, I totally understand where you're coming from with this, and I wish I could tell you something to make it better or make it go away. My best advice: learn to be blunt. To the rest of the world, I say this: When offering assistance to someone you feel may need it, LISTEN TO THE PERSON YOU WANT TO HELP. TRUST THEIR JUDGMENT. Quit talking at them in third person. Heck, quit talking at them. Talk to them. And another thing...I know I'm independent. I prefer to be called "strong-willed". And I don't need to be reminded of it every time I act like a "regular" person.

Four Years Ago...

on this day, at 11 AM, I was married to my sweetheart for time and all eternity. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I spent a sleepless night, half excited, half nervous about the coming day. Would it be perfect? Would I manage to make it through the day without any mishaps? All my fears were unfounded...the day was storybook perfect, and it was the beginning of an amazing chapter in my life. My husband is the most wonderful man--kind, considerate, gentle, and the most incredible father! I knew he truly loved me when he saw my physical scars and said he was thankful for every single one of them because it meant I'm alive to share my life with him. I knew he truly loved me when he didn't mind changing the sheets at 2:30 AM because my morning sickness struck in the middle of the night. I knew he truly loved me when he spent hours upon hours in the emergency room with me (every other weekend for 5 months...during pregnancy) calming me down and assuring me we would be ok. I know he loves me still because he takes time every day (multiple times each day) to tell me he loves me. I know he loves me still because he still gets up with me each morning to see me off to work, even when he's only gotten 3 or 4 hours of sleep himself. I know he loves me still because he treats me like a queen, and I know I am the most important person in his life (aside from our son!). He is my husband. He is my companion. He is my best friend.